Separating, when you're not married
If you lived together but did not marry or enter a civil partnership, the law treats you differently from a married couple. This page sets out where you stand and what to think about, in plain English.
See where to focusWhere to focus
- 1Where you stand
- 2Your home
- 3Children
- 4Money
- 5Wills and protection
Five things to think about, in plain English.
Before you start
There is no legal process called “separating” for couples who were not married or in a civil partnership. The myth of common law marriage means many people only learn their position when a relationship ends. This page sets it out plainly so you know what applies to you and what does not.
Not sure where to start?
Pick the part of your situation that feels most pressing. Each chip jumps to the section below.
Where to focus
Where you stand
There is no divorce process for couples who were not married or in a civil partnership. The flip side is that there is no automatic right to share property, savings, or pensions either. Children’s arrangements work the same way as for any other family. This page walks you through each area in turn.
What the law gives you
Your home
If the home is in one person’s name, the other person has no automatic right to a share. If it is in joint names, the split depends on what the title says and what you each contributed. If you cannot agree, the disagreement becomes a civil claim about who owns what, not a family-court split.
Title register
Property
12 Linden Road
Registered owner
Sam P Carter
Children
Children’s arrangements do not depend on whether the parents were married. Both parents can make decisions about a child if they have parental responsibility. Mothers have it automatically. Fathers have it if they are on the birth certificate (for births registered from December 2003) or have a parental responsibility agreement or court order.
Parenting plan
Money
There is no spousal-style claim on the other person’s income, savings, or pension. Each person keeps what is in their own name. Joint accounts and joint debts are split according to the terms you agreed when you opened them. Child maintenance is separate and is worked out through the Child Maintenance Service.
Whose money is whose
Wills and protection
If your partner dies without a will, you do not inherit by default, however long you have been together. Making a will is the cheapest, fastest way to fix that. A cohabitation agreement and a declaration of trust can also protect both of you while you are still together by recording who owns what and what happens if you split.
Last will and testament
This is the will of
Jordan T Hill
I leave my estate to my partner, Sam P Carter.
What it costs
| Item | Cost | Note |
|---|---|---|
| Mediation assessment | From around £100 | Required before applying to court about children, in most cases. Free if you qualify for legal aid. |
| Child arrangements application | £263 | Court fee. Free if you qualify for help with fees (low income or certain benefits). |
| Cohabitation agreement | Solicitor fee, varies | A written record of who owns what and what happens if you split. Cost depends on how much detail you need. |
| Declaration of trust | Solicitor fee, varies | A short legal document that records each person’s share in the home. Useful if you bought together with unequal contributions. |
| A simple will | Solicitor or will-writer fee | Without a will, an unmarried partner does not inherit by default. A simple will is a low-cost way to fix that. |
| Property dispute (court route) | Highly variable | If you cannot agree about the home, this becomes a contested civil claim. Costs can run into the thousands. Get advice early. |
Why this is different
The usual story
You search for "rights when you split up" and end up reading articles aimed at married couples. Nothing tells you that the rules are different for you. Many people only find out when something is already lost: the home, a pension share, an inheritance.
How we do it
We tell you what the law actually gives you, what it does not, and the small set of documents that protect you. No jargon, no upsell. Information first, and only the steps that apply to your situation.
Get early accessReady to take the first step?
Start by understanding where you stand. We will walk you through each area in turn.
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Other guides
Divorce, step by step
The full process if you were married or in a civil partnership. Six stages, what each costs, and where people typically trip up.
Children arrangements
How to agree where the children live and when they see each parent, with or without going to court.
Protecting yourself
Practical steps to take if you feel unsafe, are being controlled, or need to keep a partner away from you or your children.
This tool provides procedural information for England and Wales. It is not legal advice. If you need advice about your specific situation, speak to a solicitor - A lawyer who manages your case day to day, handles paperwork, gives legal advice, and instructs a barrister when needed. Unlike barristers, solicitors deal with you directly and handle the ongoing relationship. or contact Citizens Advice - A national charity offering free, confidential advice on legal, financial, and other problems. They have local offices across England and Wales..